The Red Bra Project is all about creating a positive impact one story at a time through sharing stories of celebration, trial, failure, the good stuff and tough stuff, too. Saying all of that, we are so excited to share a little bit of the absolute inspiring Lisa Goin’s story with you!
If you have EVER felt lost, unsure or uncertain about the future and where you were headed, this one is for you.
If you have EVER questioned what in the world your current choices are leading you to, this one is for you.
If you have EVER felt confused about your path, we promise – this one is for you.
It’s that good.
We were absolutely over the moon to sit down and chat with Lisa Goins on The Red Bra Project Youtube Channel. Lisa is a beautiful momma of four children (all of whom were under the age of 3 at one point – instant rock star status right there, Lisa!), wife, online business owner and currently pastoring in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Rewinding to Lisa’s teenage / young adult years Lisa shares with us that she would have never guessed this would be what her life looks like now. Funny how we can have a vision, but ultimately it is possible to end up the exact opposite of what you may think. It’s often pretty incredible how the dots connect together per the choices we make to create each of our own, unique and individual paths
Lisa’s life wasn’t what any child would dream of. Growing up in a home with alcohol, sexual abuse poverty and attending nine different schools by the 5th grade it’s pretty obvious that she wasn’t groomed for the ministry life in a way one may expect. Lisa truly felt then that she wouldn’t have any kids, she would lead more of a corporate lifestyle and was quite unsure if marriage was even in the cards for her. In college she quickly determined that she absolutely dreaded and feared public speaking. It became her goal to find the classes she could take that kept her safe from speaking in front of others. Fear literally took over. She wanted to stay hidden and knew from a very young age that if she ‘looked” the part of being fine, that people just leave her alone. She found a way to hide in plain sight so to speak. Entering college, it all came to a head which led to what she reflects on as poor choices as a young adult – including two abortions. Imagine moving from that girl to becoming the pastor’s wife. (We told you this story’s going to be a good one! ;-))
Literally the darkest moment that even now at 51 years of age Lisa still identifies with as became one of the most pivotal points of her life. That one decision she made led her to a beautiful series of events that Lisa understands now was the right path for her.
During her junior year, she can remember laying in bed, in a deep, dark place feeling that her life was going no where. Not quite suicidal, but definitely lacking all motivation. No one knew aside from the person she had a relationship with at the time that she had just had her second abortion. Lisa felt totally isolated. Not having anyone close enough to open to about much of anything, nor was she comfortable at the time doing so.
The Sunday morning after that dark, dark night, Lisa received an early phone call. (Remember, this was BEFORE cell phones, so people had to actually walk to the phone, pick it up, remember the phone number (eeekk!!) and dial.) On the other end was a former Sunday school teacher from when Lisa used to go every now and then as a teen. The voice on the other side of the phone said, “Lisa, I can’t believe I am getting a hold of you, I finally found your number. We’re having a get together reunion at the church this morning from our old Sunday school class and I know there are people there that would LOVE to see you. I just wanted to invite you,” said the former teacher.
Lisa was stunnnned. First of all, she was NOT the person to just show up, that was no where near her comfort level or her character. Second of all, it was so last minute and quite a drive away. She hung up the phone. Stepping way out of her comfort zone Lisa followed her curiosity and tug in her heart and showed up. She pulled herself out of bed, drove across the city and attended. She KNEW at that moment it was a GOD thing and she couldn’t pass it up. That was a massive pivotal point of Lisa’s life and journey.
Lisa didn’t immediately get back into church after that, but gradually. She allowed herself to be surrounded by the people that reached out to her. Lisa admits that part of her personal struggle was that she isolated herself. Gradually she began to let people into her life & circle. We know many are going to be able to relate to looking like it’s all together on the outside (clothes, smile, make – up, etc) but seriously struggling on the inside. “I’ve always felt like the girl on the outside looking in who never quite measured up,” Lisa shared.
She went on to change some relationships, graduated from college and knew she had to keep making better choices to get out of where she was. Once Lisa graduated, she started applying for jobs. Now, working since about the age of 14, she had NEVER had a problem getting a job. Low and behold, she could NOT get hired anywhere post graduating. Knowing she had to get of her current city, she moved a couple hours away to Tulsa to live with her Dad just for a couple of weeks to work to get established.
Lisa picked up a part – time job waiting tables and hanging out with a not so great crowd. She vividly remembers a Friday night in an apartment with people she barely knew. They were drinking, then started pulling out drugs – Lisa really never dabbled in that, but she remembers watching the group drink and do drugs and remembers thinking, “Lisa, what are you doing with your life? Is this what you want for your life?” She left, laid awake all night and thought, I need to find a church.
She found a church in Tulsa per recommendation, walked in and it just happened to be the Youth Pastor’s day to take the visitors to lunch. You may have guessed it, Lisa was the ONLY visitor that day and went out to lunch with the then, Youth Pastor who turned out to be her future husband! What a story right??? Goosebumps.
“It was one of those again, moments in my life that this is what I have to do, I think I need to go. Then GOD just connected us together. So in hindsight, I see why I couldn’t get a job anywhere, because I felt like I could look back and see that I was meant to be there. But it was just a strange twist of events the way it worked out,” Lisa shared.
Of course, Lisa admits it did take some time to allow herself to look back and connect the dots. Which we can whole heartily relate to.
Lisa is the first to confess that she is NOT groomed for church at all. At the time, she didn’t do a lot of the things that many in ministry do. She doesn’t sing, play an instrument, etc, quite frankly she was afraid to speak in front of anyone. She hid behind her kids for years as well as her past. It took her about 10 years or so after marrying into ministry to find her place. She discovered she truly enjoyed writing, but would always “set it on the shelf” and listen to the “nah, you can’t do that, you aren’t a writer!” Within the past year her urge to write came back strong and she realized she had to lean into that feeling and do something about it, it was time.
“Well, if this didn’t go away after all this time, I just made a decision and did it. You know, sometimes you just have to make a decision and move forward without knowing what the outcome is going to look like. It’s like the defining thing in my life. We just have to step forward with some courage even though we cannot plan exactly what it’s going to look like when we get there,” said Lisa.
An author and book was born this past January 2019. Courageously Uncomfortable, by Lisa J. Goins. It’s about when the real woman you want to be is on the other side of fear. It is about your life and being able to take courageous steps even though you still are uncomfortable, but doing it anyways. Understanding that your best life is on the other side of feeling uncomfortable. It’s a mix of humor, her kids, taking risks, vulnerability, isolation (she shares very personally on this topic that so many of us can relate to) and many other real life choices and challenges that she has tackled that she hopes can give hope and inspiration to other women.
When we asked Lisa how she pushes past her fear, she made a great point that regardless of how much we want to tell others to push through, just do it, take it alongside it’s something you just have to do to grow and learn from yourself. Including your own children.
Lisa’s Red Bra Moment: “After talking with you tonight it’s when I look back at those really brave moments in my life when I shouldn’t have been able to take the step, but I did. Like when I answered the phone call and decided to actually go. It’s so against everything that rises up in a person, “you don’t belong”, “you will be so embarrassed”. Fighting that inner voice. That moment for me was the strength that you really can do hard things, I love the saying, Beautiful Girl, You can Do Hard Things. You really can, even though your mind may tell you you can’t. But, if you’ll just take a step, you’ll get there.”
Shawna’s Red Bra Moment of Episode 29: Hitting the record button tonight! Lisa & Shawna had their own party with technology as Renee was unable to attend this chat, but they worked it out! We’re telling ya, the little things DO matter and can be so empowering to work through. Red Bra moments come in all shapes and sizes.
To hear Lisa tell her stories is like a bright glow of sunshine after a looong cold and gray winter as it inspires so much hope. Not kidding, this is a replay you will want to push play on. From a dark, scarry, lonely place to building her life back up, discovering herself and learning how to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. When we asked Lisa what was one of the most unexpected things she has learned along the way she said, “I think it would be how our life can turn out the exact opposite of what we thought it would look like and miraculously we can become crazy in love with it anyways.”
You can find, Courageously Uncomfortable on Amazon.com and on her website as well www.lisajgoins, in which a little gift comes along with the book purchase.
All the ways to connect with Lisa:
@lisajgoins (IG & FB)
@surprisegiftco (her own shop)
Thank you Lisa for sharing your heart and vulnerability with us. Gahhh, we LOVED our time with you, your incredible stories and the power they hold. Thank you for being our guest!
Thanks for stopping by, you are so appreciated! We hope this story inspired you or someone you know on some level. We know it did us, please share away. Always wear that red bra underneath it all and make sure to join the party over @theredbraproject!
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Much Love,
Renee & Shawna
