We are gushing with excitement to introduce you our amazing Red Bra Project Guest, Rachel Barker! When we say allll of the heart eyes we are not joking. This beautifully radiant woman joins us from northern Utah where her most important role in life is being a momma to five incredible kids (ranging from age 9 to adult children) and a wife to her supportive husband, Chad of 26 years. Can we get a whoop – whoop for that!? On top of all of that Rachel & Chad are loving the new blissful title of Grandparents and can’t get enough of their sweet grand baby. When not spending the precious minutes of life with her family, Rachel is a seasoned Motivational Speaker, a Nutritional, Career & Life Coach and the creator of a bi – annually Women Empowerment Event(s) in Utah. While the above summary is a brief overview of what Rachel’s life looks like from the outside, what we loved about Rachel so much is she wears her heart on her sleeve, says it how it is and is not shy to share her own challenges life has thrown her way that have paved the way for where she is today. Rachel embraces the fact that sharing her own stories of struggle, obstacles and celebration can positively impact another person’s life, which is priceless.
Rachel begins by sharing with us that as a young child she stood by her father who battled Multiple Sclerosis. She never knew him to walk and explains that for such a young girl her worries were the life sized ones in the way that she worried about if the disease was going to take her father’s life and how quickly versus if her ponytail holder was in place or not. A carefree childhood was not one that Rachel experienced resulting in a lack of control and a feeling of being overwhelmed – which really played out as Rachel got older. Rachel found herself fighting for a sense of control. She shares openly that after she lost her Dad when she was a senior in high school she struggled with trusting others, with trusting God and had a difficulty letting her walls down to make any relationships. Basically, if she couldn’t control it, she wasn’t going to enter the relationship. Craving control, Rachel found herself headed into what would become a 20 – year eating disorder. At the time, Rachel thought she could control her relationship with food but looking back, she is aware of the irony. “The irony is that in an eating disorder, you don’t have control, you are just trying to grasp the things that you can,” she said. Openly, she admits that even though she is in a much better place, she is still aware of the feeling and the need to control things around her.
Rachel explains that people need three things in life….to be seen to be heard and to matter. What Rachel now helps women to be okay in is expecting these three things in EVERY relationship and to know, really know that they have a purpose.
There are so many personal, intimate details and valuable perspectives Rachel shares with us in Episode 39 on The Red Bra Project YouTube Channel that catching the replay will be well worth it. From boundaries, varying parenting styles amongst her children and the importance of a delayed response in which was taught to her by her youngest, we truly dive into some incredible topics
Rachel sheds light on how even IF the story is not one we are proud of, it does not own us, it does not define us and it’s okay to grow with that story and tell it as we evolve, grow & learn. Just to hear her say it truly feels like you are letting go of a massive weight on your shoulders. She identifies with the fact that while you’re in it, in the struggle & darkness it is so hard to see the good you’ve done. You feel like you are failing – it’s hard to catch your breathe and this is something that we ALL feel, even though it at the moment it can feel so, so lonely. A book that Rachel was inspired by is Glass Castle by Janette Walls which is about how she changed the trajectory and learned to love her past, but kept it where it needed to stay, in the past. Yesss, we are definitely adding this one to our must read list!
When the going gets not just tough, but painful and even ugly we talked about who Rachel turns to for support. She brings up an excellent point that most people have a very small circle they go to with life challenges and it’s darkest moments and we have to agree. For Rachel, her ride or die or for our Grey’s Anatomy fans out there, her “person” is Melissa – shout OUT to you girl for being such an incredibly, supportive friend to Rachel – much love! And, of course her husband Chad is her day to day supportive rock.
Now of course we had to talk about fear with Rachel, I mean it is The Red Bra Project and it’s all about empowering one another through our stories of not just adversity & challenges, but successes as well. It’s one of those topics that we always love hearing from our guests about because one, everyone feels it and two how one person chooses to view & persevere through fear can be different from someone else – so let’s share alllll the ways! For Rachel she keeps it simple and immediately goes to what is happening in the now at that exact moment. She checks in with herself and asks, “What do I see, smell, touch, hear” and resets from there. Rachel talks about how she deals with her own personal triggers and how creating “safety zones” make her feel OK. Brilliant idea! Here’s an example: Rachel has a fear of people leaving or dying, so when her husband travels; which is often the first thing he does when he lands is communicates with Rachel that he is safe and has landed. This safety zone when Rachel’s husband travels is what works for her to keep that little dialogue in her mind quiet. As we all know that dialogue can get crazy sometimes and the above is a tool that works for Rachel’s peace of mind.
“Fear can be futuristic and past tense triggered, so if I stay in the momentum in the present, I can walk through the fear rather than letting it hold me hostage,” Rachel shared.
We love the idea of a safety zone, especially if it can help to manage anxiety and feelings uncertainty.
Rachel is getting ready to host her second women’s empowerment event of the year. She holds one in the spring & fall with a different theme for each that is universe bound which maybe counter – intuitive for a woman who seeks out control, but makes perfect sense when you hear how a little pair of pink Converse inspired this fall’s event. We are obsessed with it!
The theme is PYNK – The Perfect You Nobody Knows and has to do with our own individual stories and how we feel about them, perceive them and tell them. All hues of pink equates a different & unique story – because we are each unique different – The Perfect You Nobody Knows. We literally got goosebumps listening to Rachel tell the story about how PYNK was created from the name to the color to the event’s speakers. She what she calls “tender mercies” which is so touching and about how when something comes together once the desire to help is put out in the universe.
We talk a little about the importance of sharing a story and how being broken or feeling broken is not a reason to NOT share, it is actually quite the opposite. Similar to the centuries – old Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a special lacquer dusted with powered gold, Kintsugi or “golden journey” our stories can be viewed as seams of gold giving us each our own unique creation.
The PYNK Event is all about embracing and learning to love your story, your journey and most importantly, where you are right now. The commonality of all of Rachel’s events is that they bring insight, understanding, education and HOPE for a better tomorrow. Local or not, here’s all of the details if you think the fit may be right for you.
Rachel’s Red Bra Moment: Rachel talks about the discovery of her “figurative key” that unlocked her cage in which she then learned to love herself from the inside out. She shares a story and touchingly showed us a picture that was drawn for her that symbolized something huge for Rachel. Rachel made a promise to herself to always be there for herself like she has been there for others regardless of what the past may have held for them. She found the strength, words and affirmation for herself that she KNEW she had to honor before helping others – which many of us can understand and even relate to how becoming our own biggest cheerleader can be really, really tough, but is where it all must start. The moment Rachel clicked that figurative key, she unlocked her cage, freed herself and allowed herself to step out. (ohhhh my goodness, cue the emotional tears. If you are struggling to feel free, we promise you, you need to hear Rachel’s Red Bra Moment right here)
Rachel, thank you for your beautiful words, vulnerability and story that lends such massive hope to someone who may be struggling. You are raising up, encouraging and giving hope to so many people out there.
Episode 39 with The Red Bra Project- Catch the Replay Here
To hear Rachel’s full message that is currently streaming on YouTube called “Cage Free” head right here: Cage Free
Get the full scoop on Rachel’s PYNK event on Saturday, September 14th in Layton, Utah 10 am – 4 pm
Let’s be friends! Here’s how to connect with Rachel
Rachel’s Personal Website
Thanks for stopping by, you are so appreciated! We hope this story inspired you or someone you know on some level. We know it did us, please share away. Always wear that red bra underneath it all and make sure to join the party over @theredbraproject!
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for all show reminders and to catch the replays. We feature a variety of stories from incredible women all over the globe, supporting, connecting and empowering one another through our daily life challenges, successes and journeys to level UP and keep going!
If you are interested in being featured, please reach out to us via our Contact page or send us an email: redbraproject@gmail.com, we’d love to hear from you.
Xx,
Renee & Shawna
