Upon our first introduction to Sejal Thakkar it was clear that she was a force to be reckoned with. Compromised of strong character, a beautiful soul, and a desire to help people understand how to live in an extremely diverse world while respecting differences, Sejal is truly a gem with a genuine gift. She inspires one to find the “unstoppable” deep inside of them. We are so excited to share Sejal’s story with you!
Sejal Thakkar is Founder and Chief Civility Officer of TrainXtra. Sejal shares her story in Episode 57 with us on The Red Bra Project of being a daughter of immigrants in the United States, growing up in a suburb of Chicago where she fought hatred and discrimination on a regular basis. Sejal explains how she came to make the decision that her young experiences impacted her at a very young age. Sejal, armed with personal knowledge she gained from her experiences seized the opportunity to rise above it and let teaching kindness be her purpose in life. Sejal shares with us how she become an advocate for change from her youth that carried into her adult life as an educator, teaching others how to practice civility in the workplace.
Before diving into her own story, Sejal takes a moment at the very beginning of our conversation to recognize how everyone is truly unique in their own way and how much each person’s voice has strength and is so powerful. We could not agree MORE with you, Sejal!
Regardless of differences, color of skin, religion, one of Sejal’s focus right now is to help organizations create an environment of dignity and respect. That when we arrive at work everyone is treated equally. The second focus for Sejal right now is biasis. Sejal’s parents came from India in 1974 and Sejal herself was actually conceived in India, born in Chicago. Sejal’s family was the only Indian family in an all Italian neighborhood. Which being the only family with darker skin, her parent’s accent and her family owned the Convenience Store all led to Sejal enduring a lot of discrimination, racism and insensitivity, growing up. People assumed Sejal was from somewhere else often saying, “Go back to your country,” when she was actually in the country she was born in. Often curious, Sejal would wonder and ask “why” why are these things being said and why am I feeling “less than” when I didn’t get to choose where I was born or what I look like. Sejal does not blame the kids in her neighborhood, “it’s not malicious, a lot of the times. I don’t blame those kids for making fun of me, they are a product of their own upbringing, right. But I think that we have to do something about it. So I use my voice to do what I can to raise awareness around those issues,” said Sejal.
Listening to Sejal share a little bit of her childhood with us, our hearts went out to sweet, young Sejal. Before we could move into how her young experiences shaped her career path, we had to know how she dealt with so much as a young child and what helped her to navigate through the racism & discrimination that she was dealt.
Sejal explained that things were so different then, there wasn’t very much support at all. “I literally had no one in my family I could talk to because at home, I was expected to be that good little Indian girl. Right, wear the Indian clothes, learn the Indian language, engage in all of the culture, which I loved by the way – my parent’s didn’t even know how to speak English when they moved here. So at home, we were speaking a different language. It’s like being in a different world. Then when I was out of the house, expected to be a part of the American culture, in which I loved,” she said. Sejal’s youth was very much two different experiences and environments. She shared that she became very good at trying to fit in everywhere by code switching, assimilating into very different places, quickly. She had a few mentors sprinkled in, but truly very minimal support. She recognized in her youth that she had a choice. She could feel the anger, turn into the hatred and express the hatred towards her peers remaining the victim or she could take a different approach and understand that what she was experiencing was not their fault, they are a product of their environment and she could be on the other side of the fence trying to do it differently. Ultimately, she refused to allow ignorance, insensitivity, and the bullying conduct of others to impact her inner “ninja”. She chose not to sit in her suffering of racism and remain a victim to those around her that were being bullies, instead she began working to create a positive change.
Sejal knows that her struggle gave her the personal experiences to really fuel her passion. It was so tough for her many, many days but she is grateful for her own journey. “I really truly believe and this is one of the things that has been a guiding principle for me in my life. I remind myself that ultimately the things that we have in common are that we want to be treated with dignity & respect. At the end of the day when we strip away everything, the money, careers, everything else and looking into your soul in the mirror, I think the one thing we really all want is to relate to one another. Relateability. I want to relate to somebody else is what it boils down to. I think because I was a minority and grew up in a minority dynamic I’m able to see that on both sides. It’s luck I’ve been able to blend that philosophy I’ve held with my career, with being me,” Sejal said.
Being a naturally curious child always asking “why” and using her voice then her father actually said to her Mom, Sejal is going to be a lawyer one day. Sure enough, he was right! Sejal has an authentic curiosity for others and their stories. Having been on the receiving side of what was part of her childhood, really set her up to understand both sides. Which leads us to what Sejal is creating now.
With over fifteen years of employment law experience, human resources, legal counsel and more Sejal is working every day delivering a customized training to executives, managers and non managers in an interactive, engaging environment.
Sejal recognizes that we cannot be complacent bystanders and expect our workplace cultures to change by themselves.
She has a vision to empower each employee to create a positive workplace environment.
Sejal passionately transforms the workplace and education settings into places of civility by empowering others to be a part of the solution. (Yasssss!!!)
We chatted about cancel culture, racial injustices in the US, unconscious bias, parenting, COVID, and where we go from here. Sejal explains that it is not about calling people OUT, it is about calling people IN. Diversity brings challenges, it will take longer to get to a decision, and some extra work. However; once one commits to doing the work, positive change can happen leading to inclusion. It is an ongoing process. “No body is cancelled, it’s about bringing people in, in the right way,” said Sejal. Not everyone automatically knows what one another boundaries are.
Ninety percent of what we do on a daily basis is being done unconsciously, literally on autopilot. Very little of decision making is conscious. These hidden biases are deep. Which is normal. Sejal prefers unconscious beliefs versus biases when educating about this topic. Harvard came out with a study that said our brains process close to 11 million pieces of information per second. That is wild!! The error rate is extremely high, which again is normal. It is our brain’s way of processing information. The problem is if one is not aware of potential beliefs it may interfere with everyday decision making. There are tools to do they work to check yourself and address the biases over time and it does get easier over time even as you are learning how to combat it with different techniques.
Sejal shares a ton of resources through her own LinkedIn page that are available to help work on personal basis. She shares on online FREE tool that was put out by Harvard University, the Implicit Association Test, created by a group of Psychologists that helps to identify potential areas of bias. To simply understand what your beliefs are, to work to become a better ally, it is not a BAD thing, it is the exact opposite bringing awareness to one self.
Given the intense year 2020 has been Sejal shares some insight into the fact that there have been many brand new issues that have been brought to the surface. Sejal shares with the leaders she trains how important empathy is and how leadership styles may have to shift a bit to address concerns in the workplace.
“I’m telling you I’m seeing good things right, now. It is horrible what’s going on in the world right now, tragic with so many people losing lives, but there are some good things happening though. Some serious conversations, organizations (Sejal’s been working with organizations since 2003) stepping up in ways they never have and not just a one time thing. They are looking at their culture, identifying their gaps,” Sejal said.
Talking about how truly tough it is to stay positive right now, Sejal’s share of positive changes happening, NOW was truly refreshing – both on a company and individual level.
Sejal is a natural storyteller and her heart is easily felt in her work, lifestyle, relationships and everything life.
Resilient. That is a word Sejal uses to describe herself when asked to do it with one word.
Amen. We absolutely agree. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t experience fear. Of course she does. Her tool to combat the “feeling” of fear, gratitude. Huge. The power of gratitude is life changing.
For our reader’s, one of Sejal’s recommended books to read is The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. She explains that it is an amazing book that talks about how our thoughts and feelings do NOT define us. We are the ones observing those. It teaches the reader how we can separate ourselves from those feelings without the stressful, negative roller coaster. You don’t have to tell us twice, added to our book list!
Sejal’s Red Bra Moment: I try to live life through my son’s eyes. He teaches me just how beautiful life is. Everyday I try to stay present with him. He has attended several trainings with me and now since Covid has been watching me do virtual trainings from home since Covid. I love it when he tells me something he heard me saying out of the blue. Like the other day, he said Mommy you told your class they should speak up if someone is bullying someone else at work -at school- i told this boy he shouldn’t yell at this girl in our call. PROUD RED BRA moment!
He is such an angel. Children don’t see biases or color. They just see other human beings.
Fun fact about Sejal, she ran a full marathon – 26.2 miles because it was on her bucket list but she HATEs running.. 🙂 Hmmmm, we need to ask her how she felt AFTER conquering such a big physical goal!
If you are looking to work with Sejal, a few of the words used to describe her from testimonials on her website are: engaging, captivating, sensitive, high energy, knowledgeable, passionate and a fresh perspective. Something tells us you will happy that you reached out!
A big, warm shout out to Dr. Summer Watson from @korewomen (a former Red Bra Guest Episode #52) who made the connection with The Red Bra Project & Sejal.
Introductions make the world a better place and go ‘round! Thank you!
Here’s where to connect with the ah – MAZING Sejal Thakkar:
LinkedIn Sejal Thakkar – Click Here
Sejal’s Book Recommendation: The Untethered Soul
Thanks for stopping by, you are so appreciated! We hope this story inspired you or someone you know on some level. We know it did us, please share away. Always wear that red bra underneath it all and make sure to join the party over @theredbraproject!
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The Red Bra Project
