It all started with a light bulb moment that appeared after self realization and came alive through intentional action revolving around fear and learning how to walk in one’s purpose. Not just sometimes or every now and then, but when we need to the most.
Meet our super inspiring Red Bra guest, Stella Ihenacho. Stella is a wife and Mom to three sweet Princesses ages 4, 2 and 8 months. Born and raised in Nigeria, earning her Master’s in the UK Stella now calls Atlanta, GA home. She is passionate about using all of her gifts and trusts that she is doing her best with what has been given to her. She is an Agile Coach and Project Manager by day and an entrepreneur and life coach by legacy. Loving all things family, books, writing and coaching women into becoming the best version of themselves.
Off and running our first question to Stella is “Please, please share with us just how you balance it all!” Stella shares with us that she has learned from her own experiences that it is not always about doing all things at once. She shares that when she spreads herself too thin she feels overwhelmed and often resentment and isn’t happy with what she is producing. She has learned to have laser focus on the selected few things she is doing right now at this moment. That doesn’t mean that the things on her back burner at the time isn’t going to receive the due attention, they will when it is time and they will also receive 100% when it is the time. To focus on one thing and really see it to the end can be so empowering and provide so much energy to continue to propel you forward Stella explained.
“Do Less. Start with one thing and see it to the end,” shared Stella. “Our minds are going in a cycle and sometimes you just need to re-boot your system and give your all to one thing.”
We begin to talk about Stella’s passion project and the incredibly supportive community she has created called, Women Doing It Afraid and how it came to be known. For a long time, Stella was constantly busying herself by helping other people to bring their ideas to life. For both her career and in her personal life Stella possess a natural gift of helping others take their ideas from just that — an idea to reality. However, she admits that when it came to her own passion and ideas she never executed them. She would sit on the ideas, overthinking them and becoming overwhelmed supporting what she was feeling with lots of reasons why they would not work. On a drive one day with her husband Stella became curious with the fact that here she was supporting other people all of the time with the confidence to turn their ideas into realities when she was not giving the same confidence and energy to herself.
“I realized there are a lot of women who help a lot of other women, who champion other women, we show kindness to other women but don’t champion ourselves. We push other people, we love on other people – what are we not worthy of that love or of that energy,” she expressed.
Together, they came to the conclusion that the underlying factor was fear.
Which was Stella’s light bulb moment.
She never thought fear would be in her vocabulary, especially as a go – getter…
…yet here it was popping it’s gnarly head up. This was the exact realization that Stella needed to take her next step. She knew in her heart that she could not be the only person in this situation, so she created an online community for women who are tired of their fears and excuses holding them down – who are ready to work and walk in their purpose. It’s called: Women Doing It Afraid.
“Coaching women, organizing events, showing other women other women like them is such a gift. To see other women who have gone through what you have gone through is eye opening,” Stella said.
Stella shares how she continues to learn from her mentors. The biggest thing is having the self – discipline to actually DO the work she needed to and is constantly learning from the mentors she has chosen to position herself alongside of. Asking herself (now others as well) the tough questions. What IS your legacy? You want to be a speaker, what is your message? To practice. To use the tools. She says you have to fight through and DO THE WORK. Do you want to help women, you have to help yourself first. You want to be an author, then write the book. Own your story. Own your authenticity.
“Looking at other women who appeared to be doing great, and wondering how they were doing it, I wanted to learn from them. Buy their books, get coaching from them. It was really both ways for me. Internally and surrounding myself with other women who looked like they knew what they were doing,” said Stella when she was sharing about her personal growth process.
Which is the exact way she guides her Clients. She helps to support them with the tools, creative strategy, the process and here’s the thing, she holds them accountable to the action. Stella talks about the difference between inspiration and action. It is so exciting to start with the ideas, the inspiration, the goal setting, then the action is needed. Stella explains that there are plenty of people who have the inspiration, but are struggling when it comes to do doing the work – which is where Stella comes in. You all, this gets soooo good because Stella takes the time to summarize how to keep the energy up and inspiration at the forefront when the action is needed and one just may not be feeling it…
We’ll give you the summary here – the full scoop is in Stella’s conversation with us right, here.
Start with the little steps to make the changes. She reminds us that the change is not going to be immediate. It’s the little steps that take you back to how you were feeling during that inspiration when you set the goal.
Discipline. Condition Your Mind. Even though it may not “look” like change happening at the moment, at the end of the day and every day there is a cumulative effect. You have to be disciplined enough to do the work to stay course. Remember, the person that inspired you didn’t get there in 1 day, 1 week, 1 month. Many of times there are many years of work behind what you see in that person standing on the stage.
Join communities. So that in those moments when you are not feeling at the height of inspiration, this group will help you to keep the fire burning especially when you want to give up. Join a group, find a coach, a mentor, an accountability partner. Go there when you are feeling like quitting.
Stella shares a bit of insight into the topic of conditioned based fear and a few of her own personal challenges. Growing up in Nigeria and being the first born daughter there are a lot of cultural boundaries that may not be understood until adulthood. Growing up, Stella wasn’t always surrounded with people who she could “see” herself as wanting to be like or do when she was older. It was tough to imagine what potential was possible. Stella shares about her job in the UK where she had a manager who realized Stella was very over qualified so she wanted to push her forward. Still though, Stella could not see the potential her manager could see. She talks about the feelings she had such as imposter syndrome and despite all of this, she still applied for jobs that she thought were a little above her skill set. When she was hired, they were blown away from Stella’s work. Why is she sharing this? Because many times we don’t understand the power of what is inside of us, so we downplay. We downplay our voices, thoughts, expressions and even choices. This part of Stella’s story really comes around full circle as she mentions she could see the greatness in others, but couldn’t see it in herself. Which is when she made a choice to believe in herself.
When Stella started Women Doing it Afraid about four years ago was built with a foundation of inspiration, empowerment and support. Over the years it has evolved into more than a place where words of support can be found.
Stella offers at least (2) workshops to women who are serious about their business where Stella works with other amazing women to teach guests how to start, sustain and scale their new businesses.
There is a little bit of everything offered in the workshops for the woman who is at various levels of her business.
In addition, Stella is offering a variety of courses that are centered around business, strategy and overcoming fear as well as 1:1 Coaching opportunities guided by Stella.
“There are so many testimonies from women who have been through Women Doing it Afraid who have started their businesses and collaborated with others. It just gives me so much joy to see a woman who had an idea and I walk her through how to have a business and multiple streams of income,” shared Stella.
Stella’s Red Bra Moment:
A red bra moment that comes to mind is in my career. I went in for a job interview for a job I had never done before and before I left the parking lot, I was hired. Not only that, I got into this job where I had people doing the same thing for years ask me to mentor them. It just opened my eyes, “Man girl, you have been sitting on your power for a very long time. Always having that in my mind, there is nothing I can’t do if I commit myself to showing up and doing it. Even if you fail, so what. Even if it doesn’t meet your expectations, so what. You have that experience and no body can take that experience away from you. For a job I’ve never been before, to be called a mentor for others, I don’t know what else would be a better Red Bra moment!
WOW! What an incredible Red Bra Moment! Stella – thank YOU for sharing.
Loving what you have read so far? Please share this story with a friend who may need it in their life. 😉
Thank you so much Stella for joining us and sharing such a powerful conversation that sparks inspiration, courage and motivates. We know it is going to inspire & support many people out there! Keep on rocking it!
Tap play on Episode 73 with us and let us know how you are feeling after listening in!
Here’s where to connect with the brilliant Stella Ihenacho:
@womendoingitafraid on IG, Twitter, FB and Club House
Thank you for stopping by, you are so appreciated! We hope this story inspired you or someone you know on some level. We know it did us, please share away. Always wear that red bra underneath it all and make sure to join the party over @theredbraproject!
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel for all show reminders and to catch the replays. We feature a variety of stories from incredible women all over the globe, supporting, connecting and empowering one another through our daily life challenges, successes and journeys to level UP and keep going!
If you are interested in being featured, please reach out to us via our Contact page or send us an email: redbraproject@gmail.com, we’d love to hear from you.
Xx,
The Red Bra Project
